Orchestral toilet (but not in the night) & bon mots

Boaters the world over are concerned about toilets.

This is a well known and universally recognised fact in boating circles.

At any boaty type gathering the conversation invariably turns to toilet related ‘matters’ ….. types of flush; macerators versus cassette; types of paper (& the penalties for wrong type); dire problems that have been encountered etc etc

It seems to me that no two boat toilets operate in the same way or make the same ‘noises’! In fact I wouldn’t be surprised if there isn’t a ‘boat toilet noise’ CD somewhere ……… if not, this may offer someone (with loads of time) a recording opportunity! I expect royalties for the depositing (!) the idea.

Turning personal, Piedaleau has 2 loos which cause quite a lot of comment as they have quite a protracted, 2 tier, operation system. And the water pump that replenishes the bowls, is noisy. So there is no way of nipping out for a quiet pee – can cause a rude awakening in the middle of the night or be a little embarrassing during a dinner party! But since, as I said earlier, all boaters discuss such matters it usually opens up a well rehearsed topic of conversation.

But I digress…….. Basically Piedaleau’s front loo (the one usually used by visitors) seems to be getting noisier and noisier. Apart from the usual water pump and flushing sounds there is now a high pitched squeal / whine towards the end of the operation. We have been administering lots of baby oil (so much kinder than using olive oil, I always think) but it is becoming embarrassing. David has christened it our ‘orchestral toilet’.

So, having dealt with the bow thruster problem we decided to do some investigation as to probable causes and possible solutions of the toilet whine.

While following various sanitary ‘threads’ on line we came across the following bon mots which lightened our morning and I thought would be good to share…. my thanks to whoever posted these little gems….

  • I don’t want to,
  • I don’t have to,
  • You can’t make me,
  • I’m retired!


  • Looking beyond the embers of bridges glowing behind us
  • To a glimpse of how green  it was on the other side
    • Pink Floyd – High Hopes


  • What you said,
  • What you think you said and
  • What I thought you said
  • Are 3 different things!
    • Oh sooo true!


But I digress again so back to our loo……..

We learnt that we can buy a very expensive product (Leesan descaler) that will dissolve any calcification around the all important macerator mechanism. Luckily David has some on board his boat so we are trying some of this magic potion in the hopes that we don’t have to dismantle the whole toilet! Very special & expensive jollop – around £20 per litre (much more expensive than the wine we buy, drink and then pass that way.) Fingers crossed – and everything else really, as you have to leave the jollop for 2 to 3 days for maximum effect.

Toilet news flash ……….. whine much reduced but not totally eradicated so more jollop will be administered anon. Having popped home to have some work done on the roof we now have our own jollop supply.

Bet you can hardly wait for the next update!!!!



Author: mistyjf

I have been boating in Europe since 2009 when I shipped Misty Morning to France. Time & life move on! Adrian, my new partner, & I bought Piedaleau in 2015 to continue and expand our European boating adventures.

3 thoughts on “Orchestral toilet (but not in the night) & bon mots”

  1. Jenny,

    You touch upon one of the eternal issues of boating life. Since we plan on leaving France this year for the first time we have had to replace our old toilets with something legal in Belgium and The Netherlands. We have taken a gamble on composting toilets (AirHead from WooWoo in the U.K.)

    We will be heading to Amsterdam via the Meuse through Liege and then, after a quick tour of Friesland we wii try to get to the south of France and leave MADAWASKA (we replaced little “Sharps Landing” with an elderly LeBoat Nautilia) there while we return home for a few winter months. You and Adrian cruise at a more sensible pace than we will be attempting. Is there any chance we might cross paths (wakes?) with you?

    Stephen and Truus


    1. Lovely to hear from you! Sounds as if you’ll be going some to do all that! It would be great to met up along th way …… we intend to remain in Belgium this year and then return to france next year. x


  2. Great post + autres choses

    Dear Jenny and Adrian,

    Loved latest posting Jenny. You are very interesting and now I am famous for having named the visitors toilet – orchestral. I’m sure your future guests will be sampling it just to listen to it. Are you sure you want to silence it? Expect recording contracts. Perhaps you should decide if it is pop or classical – or perhaps I should? Perhaps it is more ….. Folk Music?

    I bought an Audible book once and have failed so far to stop them debiting my account once a month. I am allowed to buy another audiobook every month for that deposit. I’m two months behind. I thought you might find some synergy with one of the books they propose. “The subtle art of not giving a F*CK” by Mark Manson.




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